Vol. 1
Rationale; Andy Ward; Drinking in my 30s; Workout Schedule.
This Substack will eventually be cited as the preeminent guide to sustained happiness and fulfillment.
Until then, I’m using it to work on non-standup writing and to ask earnest questions of the people I find interesting. Secondary reasons including answering oft-asked questions about working out and to prove I read.
Expectations are the root of unhappiness. Keep yours unreasonably high.
This week’s edition includes an interview with Brooklyn-based comedian, Andy Ward, and a reflection on the cost of drinking in my 30s.
Thanks for the time! ♦
In Deep With Andy Ward: Smart, funny, thoughtful, and gregarious, Andy Ward is one of my favorite people in comedy. On his own, and with his comedy partner, Tim Kov, who together make up BAPHTA (follow them @baphta and check out their Arthur Pickles video), he is always making me laugh with clever and silly bits. You can see BAPHTA perform every week at the Windjammer in Ridgewood. Andy’s substack,
, is excellent and inspired this section.
JT: What do you splurge on?
Andy: I've had some time to mull over this question and the truth is I don't splurge on big ticket item things, actually. Most of all the furniture in my house I have and clothing I have are second-hand or found on the Amazon Marketplace. (Eek!) However, I spent some time noticing my spending habits and I realize I do love to splurge on a good drink. At the grocery store, before I leave - I always need a nice bubbly beverage. Right now I am into Ollipop (grape ofc) and I always need a cold diet coke. Out to eat I always splurge on a nice beverage as well - I was just in Europe and I found out that 30 EURO for a bottle of wine is extremely expensive and I was being crazy.
JT: What’s success? How do you know you’ve achieved it?
Andy: Success is tricky. I truly believe in the "The Secret". In high school I had this dream that I wanted to travel abroad and speak Spanish. So everyday I would go for a run around the canal near my house and picture myself in a foreign country. Soon after high school - it materialized and I studied abroad! No longer did I have to run around the canal and dream of the future, because I lived it. I think success in that same vein means whatever was lacking in your goal for success, you no longer hunger for. If you're an artist and success to you looks like having your first gallery opening - and that is something you've been pining for and conspiring with the universe, you've achieved success when you finally pull off that gallery opening.
JT: In what situations do you lie?
Andy: I try not to lie (eek again!) However, I am known for lying by omission. This normally happens when I get invited to something that I don't want to do and I don't respond to my phone. It's so so hard for me to say no to someone's event or an invite because I am scared I'll never get invited again - so my lies are normally just not responding. Then I'll have to say something like I was sad that day or busy. Instead I could have just said "no - but invite me next time!"
JT: What is the most important thing for people to know about you?
Andy: Wow wow wow. I'm a Taurus. Jk. I will probably regret how I responded to this and then a week later really wish I would have phrased it differently. What feels like the first thing I want to respond to and might seem like a copout but - I think it's important for people to know I'm sensitive. I get grumpy I am a bitch but I care deeply for myself and for others. I want people to know that at my old age I am still growing and learning and hoping to be a better person and want to surround myself with others who are doing the same. (Enter a picture of Yoko Ono here please)
JT: What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Andy: God. Happiness looks like - I have all my bills paid up. It's interesting because a lot of my therapy work is just me talking about finances. I would have all of my bills paid up - no credit card bills, no student loans, and then my rent is $200 a month. From there, I have a job I can take on that lets me be myself and I contribute to the world in some meaningful way. Then I have time to dedicate to my Craft and I feel successful at my creative endeavors and I have a lot of friends who text me a lot and have juicy gossip. In this scenario I would have a perfect long table in my backyard (in New York..) where everyone ALWAYS loves to come over on the weekend and then I cook everyone a gorgeous dinner and we have lots of drinks with me and my husband. To me that would be happiness. ♦
Workout Schedule: I work out each major muscle group twice a week. I do this over the course of six days (i.e., a six-day split):
Monday: Chest & Triceps
Tuesday: Legs & Shoulders
Wednesday: Back, Biceps, Abs
Thursday: Chest & Triceps
Friday: Legs & Shoulders
Saturday: Back, Biceps, Abs
Sunday: Rest
If you do not have the time (or desire) to go to the gym six days a week, another option is a five-day split (e.g., 2 push days (chest, triceps, and shoulders), 2 pull days (back and biceps), and a day for legs and abs). ♦
This Week’s Book: I’ve been trying to read this book about the NYC music scene during the 1970s but can’t get pass page 60. There's no narrative. It’s just a vomit of industry names and a few author anecdotes with a tenuous connection to the topic. The author nailed what it’s like to be on a first date with a guy just hired at Spotify.
I put that down and picked up a classic I hadn’t read yet, The Bridge of San Luis Rey by Thornton Wilder.
Simple and dark but in a matter-of-fact amusing way, this book should probably win an award. ♦